☕ Brewed Brilliance: Quirky FAQ*

(As answered by our Resident Professor of Caffeinated Sciences)

Q: What makes Brewed Brilliance coffee so special?

A: Unlike ordinary coffee that simply wakes you up, our roasts unlock dormant sections of your brain reserved for brilliance, innovation, and occasionally spontaneous poetry.

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Q: Will I become a genius after one cup?

A: Results may vary—but side effects have included sudden clarity, impeccable taste in ideas, and the urge to invent something world-changing before breakfast.

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Q: Where is your coffee roasted?

A: In Oregon—the natural habitat of intellectuals, mystics, and trees that whisper secrets about optimal roasting temperatures.

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Q: Is this coffee carefuliy sourced, ethical, and magical?

A: Yes, yes, and our legal team advised us not to comment on the third one.

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Q: Can I drink Brewed Brilliance if I’m not already brilliant?

A: You are already brilliant, our coffee is intended to make that more apparent.

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Q: What’s the best way to brew it?

A: With enthusiasm, a dash of curiosity, and perhaps goggles if you’re feeling scientific.

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* these statements are not founded by any specific research and are the opinions of the professor and our customers.